And why I did not blog for 2 months…

I just returned from a meeting with one of my agencies and someone who reads my blog there mentioned that he hasn’t seen any updates. I realised its been pretty chaotic…. and I’ve been spending time writing about everything I want in my head.. I’ve had the time to write but my fingers have been moving automatically to Lotus notes or Microsoft Excel in automation of work that filled my life. Not an excuse……

I did take a break to Goa last weekend and consciously left my laptop behind. It was my fifth visit to Goa in 3 years…. Its always been sun and sand and beer.. Its been the same homestay in Candolim… Its been the wishful brazilian tan… Its been the 250 Rs rent a scooter… Its also been Prawn curry and rice and an impulse buy of a technicolour sarong… This time, it was actually a bit of all these with a lot of void. This time, it was very different…

I went to Goa after a time period in my life, which I consider as the most intense… It was ups and downs and all extremes possible…

I lost my step father 2 months back… unexpectedly… I guess you never expect such things…

I overworked myself to avoid that grief… (my mom was dusting and cleaning like there was no tomorrow.. I do know who I take after)

I sat for the first time in my life in a Formula 1 car….. ecstacy is an understatement … (really, who would have thought this would happen)

I tried not to sound elated about it but I realised that if there is one person who would have been elated for me, it would have been my step dad… so, what the heck! Let me rejoice and let me pay it as a tribute to the man who loved racing so much…

I spent 3 days with an F1 driver, who I pretty much hated when I was a Schumi fan.. and I realise today how stupid I was to hate someone without meeting the person… (Thanks DC for making me wiser on this front)

I messed up a lot and forgot to call the people who matter a lot… my mom, my sister, my husband… (but, they understood… they know me I guess.. and they know the Kahlil Gibran philosophy on love and marriage and family)

I worked till 3 or 4 am everyday and Im doing this after 7 years I think.. the last time I did this, I was making my college yearbook with 2 guys who I loved dearly..

I also met some insane people who were willing to work all night with me.. made up for the college buddy memories… (and more..)

I lived a lot on air and Red Bull.. (I cannot believe that I started drinking Red Bull.. had to do that to make up for the horrible coffee at work)

I went through dehydration, kidney infection, sun burn, migraines, fever and cramps all in 2 months… (unhealthy wreck)

I missed capoeira classes for 5 weeks continuously and feel like shit about it… (but Im back at class and feel better)

I picked up something new… I started to run… I dont think I love it… I don’t think I’ll ever love it… Its very painful infact.. But, it works beautifully with my Capoeira philosophy – Kill pain with pain… and the pain this running is creating, whether its physical or mental actually is strong enough to make some other things look light.. (and I guess I should write a separate post on this… somehow, doesn’t do justice to what I feel about this very very very new hobby)

I spent more time online, on my mobile, on chat, on all the bloody communication modes overdosing myself… an unimaginable addiction… like the constant need to be connected.. wired up… work or otherwise.. I miss those days when I had nothing to connect except my Ipod headphones…

I got used to my workplace… the seat which was uncomfortable.. the cold corner.. the dirty grey walls amidst the red walls.. the people… the smoking corner for them.. the horrible coffee machine.. the security guy who doesn’t hear too well.. the noise.. the silence.. the air..

I forgot to practice Portuguese. Just an occassional SMS to a friend with words I love to use in a foreign language and that’s it. Not much practice.

I did a lot but just did not write. On those normal days that I would have actually spent time writing, I spent with someone who heard me out. Now, I need to get back to writing.

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